It's Not Fair
by TheFandomParade
Summary: Eren Yeager and Levi Ackerman are best friends, always at each other's sides. Eren is hot headed, while Levi is calm and collected. However, they stand united. But when an event shatters their hopes of a peaceful life, Eren and Levi must decide what, and more importantly, who they are fighting for. {Modern AU\Military}
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Smile

If anyone ever asked me who my best friend was, the answer wouldn't even surprise them. It never surprised my parents. Or my teachers and fellow classmates, for that matter. The answer certainly didn't surprise me either, and I told them without hesitation.

"Levi Ackerman." The name wasn't anything new. Levi and I had met in kindergarten, and soon were known very well by the recess aids. I had a natural hot-headed personality, and it didn't take much for me to blow up at anyone. Levi learned this real fast, but he never backed down to my temper. If anything he challenged it. It was during these first few years that I learned that Levi took attitude from nobody, and I ended up earning a few bruises to teach that lesson. But somehow, me and Levi stuck together. Helping each other in classes, giving advice, coming to each other's birthday parties. Life was good.

Then we went to middle school, and the whole social order changed. The "popular" kids now ruled us all, whether it was by getting the best hang out spots or just walking all over us in general. The nerds, AKA the people with the highest GPA's were sent to sit on the burning concrete, holding our backpacks in our laps. The rest of the different groups went to hang out elsewhere, like in the library or something. For Levi and I, the whole "figure out your place in the pack" really didn't suit us well. I mean, not that I was dumb or anything, but I wasn't a prodigy at school. I wouldn't be accepted into the nerd group, or anywhere really. My only plus was that I was what you'd call pretty attractive, and I knew that the whole popularity thing had its roots in people with good looks. To other people anyways. To me, I wasn't in the least attractive, well, except for my green eyes. Those I was actually proud of.

Levi, on the other hand, must have been blessed at birth or something. He was _very_ handsome, with his perfectly styled undercut and curved jaw. Not to mention his grey eyes, which seriously, no matter how terrifying they were, could literally melt anyone's heart like candle wax. Levi would never have a problem fitting in, even with his cold disposition. No one cared that he'd be more likely to cut off their hand than shake it. Because personalities didn't matter in this modern world. Looks and wealth did.

No one cared about me or my talents, because in school no one really cared if you could sketch, or paint really well. The cards weren't in my favor, or so I thought.

I still remember our first day of sixth grade. It was on a Thursday. It was pouring rain, and I had had my blue umbrella, which I had clutched nervously as I took my first steps through the front gates. The school had been gigantic because we had shared our campus with the high schoolers as well, and I can recall being utterly terrified. So many unknown people, so many new rules, so many things I needed to know but didn't. My throat threatened to close, and I remember grabbing it, as if I was being suffocated. Which I was, really. People started looking at me, pointing and talking amongst themselves. Suddenly I was surrounded by them, by those people who took me in as if I was entertainment. I couldn't move, couldn't breathe, as I felt hundreds of eyes on me. I tried to snap out of it, but my chest tightened and I had to drop my hand from its spot on my throat. My eyes started getting watery, my face hot. _I won't survive here,_ I thought. But then a hand was on my shoulder, a familiar touch, and suddenly Levi was next to me, his face calm and collected. He didn't say anything, only raked his gaze over the crowd, scrutinizing them as if they were wolves in sheep's clothing. He lingered on a group of guys and girls who looked as if they were the new popular group, and my heart sank. _No, no._ He couldn't, he wouldn't leave me here. Levi turned to face me, as if he had heard what I was thinking. Lowering his hand so it dropped from my shoulder, he grabbed the cuff of my sleeve and tugged on it.

"C'mon, Eren. We should start scoping out where our classes are." I followed him as he cut through the crowd, pulling me along. And I knew he hadn't abandoned me.

Years passed, and it seemed as if Levi and I were only growing closer. He'd started sleeping over at my house, one because we were nearly inseparable, and two because thing were getting a little rough at his house. He never explained about it, and I never asked. Art class was fun, and I'd been slowly getting better. One thing I liked about Levi was that he wouldn't hesitate to tell me that my art looked like terrible. It helped me in the long run, and I owed him for helping me win a school art award.

Levi had also been doing well during our time in the middle grades. Joining the soccer team was a breeze for him, and it was only natural when he was made captain not long after. Overall, our 6-8th grade years were good ones.

9th grade was when it got interesting. Classes got harder, and a particular girl started bothering me. Her name was Annie Leonhardt, and she really liked beating me up during breaks. And I had to admit, my attitude towards her didn't help matters.

But it was a particular beating that left me on all fours, winded and gasping for air. I'd forgotten what the fight was over, but she'd done a good number on me, making my nose bleed, scraping my hands, and, the most depressing one, bruising my knees when I had fallen to the ground. I was tired, more tired than I'd been ever in a fight. What had happened to the me who never surrendered? Lost to the wind, I guess.

Annie had just watched me, cool satisfaction all over her face. Then a pair of hands pulled me up from behind, and I was yanked up so fast I saw stars. Levi's dark eyes met my green ones, and worry was etched all over his face. Wrapping an arm around my frame to support me, he looked Annie straight in the eye and growled, "Freak off, Leonhardt," before turning away to drag me to the boys restroom. Annie never even flinched.

Levi managed to get me into the biggest stall they had before he began to wipe away the blood from my nose.

"What in the entire freaking world were you thinking, Eren?!" he had demanded. I was too dizzy to respond, so he accepted my silence as an answer, and I was glad. Not like my mom, who seemed to need an answer every time. As he grabbed my hand to somewhat bring me back to reality, I winced, feeling the scrapes on my fingertips cry out in protest. Levi noticed right away and left the stall, appearing moments later with a paper towel drenched in water. Easing the fabric onto my hands, Levi kept his eyes on my face. "If I didn't know any better, I would've thought Annie had a crush on you." He had to be teasing.

"Yeah, right," I said, sniffing loudly, feeling the dried blood in my nose. "She's got a funny way of showing it." I heard Levi snort.

"So you're not denying it."

"Ewww, no Levi. Just no." I reached up to my forehead, feeling how it seemed to pound with every heartbeat. "Annie and Bertholdt have a thing. Besides, she's not my type." Levi met my gaze, his face deadly serious.

"Than what is your type, Yeager?" He finished dabbing my fingertips with the water, finally giving me his full attention. I didn't like the topic, so I said, "Whatever floats your boat, Ackerman. C'mon, we need to go. Lunch break doesn't last forever, you know." A weight rested on my shoulder, Levi's hand, and I, who had been to busy wrapping my head around this whole Annie and me thing, realized something. Levi was smiling. His lips, which were normally in a straight line, were curved upward in the most wonderful way. I honestly didn't know he could smile.

"Alright, alright. Let's go, Eren." He took his hand off my shoulder, and opened the stall door, turning to me before gesturing and saying, "After you, Yeager." I slowly got up and passed him, and we both headed towards our next class. I remember being preoccupied the whole day, wondering the same thing over and over again. Mostly about why Levi had done what he'd done. Because Levi never smiled.

 **Hello Fandom people! This is my first fic, so that's good. Please tell me what you guys think!**

 **Attack on Titan [Shingeki no Kyoujin] belongs to Hajime Isayama**


	2. Chapter 2: Always

Chapter 2: Always

 **Author's Note: I forgot to mention that this is indeed an Ereri fic. And also, most of the story is going to be told from Eren's point of view. Well, that's it! Enjoy!**

Ninth grade was over with before I knew it, and Levi and I had finished with flying colors. Levi, being one of the top players on his soccer team, had been asked to play with another top team, nicknamed the Scouts. Of course, Levi accepted, and now had to travel outside the perimeters of our city to go to practices. It didn't bother me that much, mostly because I had my hands full myself. Hanji Zoe, one of our school's best art students, had asked me to help her experiment with different art styles. I jumped at the chance, and now had to stay after school to help her. It didn't bug Levi at all, and being the nice, cold hearted friend he was, decided to stay with me. Levi was something.

Ever since the day of my fight between Annie, Levi had been, well…very _very_ protective of me, and everyone learned quick that he meant business. Jean insulted me once during history class, and Levi had slapped him so fast Jean didn't even have time to finish his sentence. Mikasa, a friend in my P.E class, had mentioned my green eyes, calling them pretty, and I just had to look at her face to know Levi was giving her his angry face. It honestly worried me.

What had changed? I mean, Levi was still my best friend, no doubt about that. But did Levi feel as if his position was being threatened? By who? Or if he didn't feel that way, why was he being so defensive over every little thing, good or bad, that someone did to me?

This didn't mean I was going to leave him, heck, I'd gouge out my own eyes before I did that. But I was confused, and I wanted answers. Good thing for me, summer was coming, and that would give me plenty of time to get some.

The first day of summer was truly something else. Levi, who had slept over at my house that day, had woken me up early, and had dragged me out the door before I even had a chance to say goodbye to my parents. Apparently, Levi had told them where we would be going, but decided to not tell me till we had arrived. Great, how I loved surprises. The morning air had been warm, and a breeze had been blowing it in my face. It felt uncomfortable, but I continued on. Finally, we reached our destination, a…..fair? This surprised me, because as far as I knew Levi hated public places, considering them filthy. It was very out of character for him.

"Levi, are we at the right place?" I had asked. His eyes had been clear, and I saw a hint of hesitation, but Levi only pulled me on.

"Yes, Eren. We're here." The fair apparently opened very early to customers, and Levi and I had mostly had the park to ourselves. We got on countless rides, me screaming my head off, and Levi, the poker face patriot, trying not to throw up. After a few hours, people started coming, and eventually we too had to wait in lines. I distinctly remember waiting behind a girl with blue hair pinned up in a high ponytail. She had been pestering me, complimenting everything about my body and face. Levi's death glare was on, and I was afraid that he'd blow up, so without thinking, I had grabbed his hand, intertwining his fingers with mine.

"Levi, Levi…" Levi's face went blank, and slowly he looked down. The girl had obviously taken my action as a cue to give up, and she turned back around. I was so glad I had managed to calm Levi down, that I hadn't noticed what Levi was looking at. Our hands. _Our_ hands.

I had forgotten I still had been holding his, and I laughed nervously, gently pulling mine away.

"I'm sorry, Levi. I just-I.." I was silent for the rest of the day, and Levi and I eventually made our long walk home. I had been wondering about Levi, about what had changed between us, when I suddenly was scared. Would this whole situation tear us apart? Would we end up splitting up, just a pointless chapter in our long lives? No! Levi was more than that! I started thinking about us holding hands…and I remembered how it oddly felt good. It felt _good._ No, it didn't feel good, such a common word for random relationships and one night stands. It felt _right._

I turned to Levi, who was walking with his face straight ahead, his black locks swishing from side to side along with his stride. He looked like Levi, just Levi. But no…there was more. I looked closer, past the hardened surface of my best friend, and I saw…a person who genuinely cared about me as a person. I saw a person who never left me. I saw a person who would hurt me, and later beat themselves up about it. I saw a person who would fight for me till the end. I saw him for the first time in a long time.

"Eren, why are you staring at me?"

My cheeks heated up, and I hastily looked away. He saw me! Really Eren? I coughed before I responded.

"Sorry, Levi." Silence. More silence.

"Eren, can I ask you something?" I felt my face grow hot, and I unconsciously scratched the back of my neck.

"Of course, Levi. Anything." I heard Levi take a deep breath.

"How…How did it feel? When you held my hand?" I didn't have to think.

"It felt right." Levi sighed, and wiped away sweat on his forehead. Was he sweating because he was nervous?

"Ok, Yeager. Thank you." Levi obviously didn't have anything more to say, but I wasn't ready to let him off just yet.

"Are you ok, Levi? You've been acting differently around me." Levi's grey eyes softened a bit, but nothing else about him changed.

"Eren, I really rather not say. But I'm fine though."

"Levi" I grabbed his sleeve, pulling him to face me , " spill. I know something's going on with you, and don't think I've brushed off the way you've been acting around me." Levi's mouth turned downwards, his eyes narrowing, but I held my ground. I'd be damned if I gave up now. So waiting ever so patiently, I locked my eyes on him and demanded an answer. Levi stared. I stared back. Then Levi started shaking.

I'd never ever seen him look so defeated. His eyes, which were previously narrowed at me, were looking down at the pavement now. His lips were twitching ever so slightly, like he wanted to say something, but was holding back.

"Levi…." My hand moved downwards till it was clamping onto his so tightly, I thought his fingers would soon start turning blue. But they didn't, and here I was, holding Levi Ackerman's hand for the second time today. The same feeling washed over me, the feeling that this was indeed right. Now, I looked down at our hands, the same way Levi had done at the fair. Was this what he had been thinking? Did it feel right to him too?

"Yeager, I'm afraid that I'm going to lose you." I looked back up at him, and Levi's eyes were so dark, so afraid, that I squeezed his hand a little harder.

"Why? I'm right here. I'm not leaving you anytime soon." Levi avoided my gaze, instead looking back to our hands.

"I don't want to lose you, Eren." Levi said, continuing on as if I hadn't said anything. "I really really..," his voice faltered, and this time it was him that grabbed my other hand, pulling it over until it was resting on his forehead. Levi still hadn't stopped shaking. I didn't know what to do. Levi had never shown this much emotion in front of me ever, and I never was the comforting type.

Levi still had my hand pressed against his forehead, and slowly, trying to be as reassuring as possible, pulled my other hand away from his until I had it cupped around his cheek. Levi looked up a little, noticing, and I had rubbed my thumb across his pale skin.

"Levi, I'm not leaving you, no matter what." Levi met my gaze, slowly but surely. His eyes were red and glassy, as if he was about to cry. Was he still afraid? "And just so you know, I'm okay with this. I..kinda feel the same." Levi smiled, sniffling slightly, and let go of my hand. My thumb still grazed over his cheek, so slowly, probably after a bit of thought, Levi leaned into my hand. My heart fluttered.

"We should get back" Levi said, voice rough like sandpaper. I dropped my hand, and we walked on in silence, only this time it was ok. But after a while, I felt small fingers intertwine with mine, and I knew I had started something new. But new was okay with me. As long as Levi was involved, new was _always_ okay with me.


	3. Chapter 3: the Calm

After the first day of summer, Levi and I decided that in order to figure ourselves out, we needed to take some special time to get to know each other all over again. To me, that was weird, but I understood that it was needed. Levi took no time in asking me questions about what I would like in a person. I told him I liked a people who had good hearts.

"Think..around the lines of Optimus Prime." I had said.

"You want me to live up to the standards of a Transformer?"

I started asking him questions after that, mostly because I was too afraid [and embarrassed] of what would come out of my mouth next. My questions were mostly like, "What do you like to eat?" or " What are your favorite color eyes?" To the last question, he'd replied , "Green," and I couldn't help myself from blushing as red as a stop sign. Levi had a way of doing that to me, I later realized.

But anyways, other than the fact that Levi and I had to deal with some new emotions, our summer was pretty good. And it wasn't until we had stepped through the front gates of our school that I fully realized that summer was over. Dang it.

Right away, things were different. Annie, for one, seemed to have gained mutual respect for me, and she no longer picked fights. My bruised knees were very glad to hear that. Jean, who had constantly butted heads with me last year, had recently announced he was in a relationship with Marco, the class ASB representative. Most of us were glad to hear that, [we had rooted for them as soon as they started having lunch together] and I was personally very happy how the beginning of my school year was turning out.

But the happiest moments of the school year were the walks home. Levi had the luxury of walking me home by myself, so we usually had time to do another one of those "question me about anything" sessions. We talked about a lot of things during those, and at the end of one of them, I had walked away knowing that Levi liked me, as more than a friend. Levi had walked away knowing that his feelings were returned.

At school, we had to keep it secret, mostly because we weren't even sure if we really were serious about our feelings. I knew Levi was, but I honestly wasn't 100% sure yet. And I didn't want to rush into anything, and sew my love into his heart, only to rip out it back out and leave Levi in stitches. No, I didn't want that for him. I needed to be smart. I needed to be truthful.

It was a few months into the school year, around December, when I finally decided. I had insisted to Levi that we took the long way home, because I had a lot I wanted to say. Levi's normal, stoic look gave way to something different. Fear? Excitement? Nervousness? I couldn't tell. Easing my hand into his, I walked, and he followed. We were around halfway there when I had finally gathered up my thoughts, and turned to him, his eyes expectant and his lip being bitten down on.

I began, " Levi, do you remember me saying that we needed to figure ourselves out before we were a couple?" Levi nodded, his jaw tense. "And you told me you were sure, right?" Levi nodded again. I swallowed. "I came to a decision."

"Ok.." Levi said, seeming to clutch my hand a little harder.

"….I do…I want to be with you." Levi turned to me, his eyes shiny and wide. _Is he crying?_ The first tears made their way past his eyes, and dripped down his cheeks, finally gathering on his chin. "No, no," I wiped them away with my sleeve, while more kept coming, cascading down his skin. "Don't cry, no, don't cry.." Levi sniffed, and wiped some away with his hand.

"Sorry, Eren. I just-I'm so happy." His hand was on the side of my face before I knew it, and his thumb brushed away tears of my own. _When did I start crying?_ His hand was so warm on my cheek, so soft, and I couldn't help but close my eyes and lean into it. This was the Levi I knew, comforting me until the end.

"So Eren, now that we're a couple, can I finally claim what's mine?" My heart went from 1 to 100 in a second. I opened my eyes, and saw that Levi was smiling ever so softly. I didn't know what to say. So instead, I nodded.

Back then, I never really wanted to consider what his lips felt like on mine. It simply felt wrong. But now, I never wanted to forget. They were soft, really soft, and his mouth was so inviting I nearly lost control of my own. He pressed back, and I just went with it, riding his ocean wave of passion, feeling him settle his hands on my neck. I returned the touch by putting my own on his waist. It felt _awesome_.

So when I look back, I remember that I owe my first kiss to him. I owe him a lot, actually, but I'm jumping ahead. Back to the story.

School went on, just as usual, except now everyone knew that Levi and I were together. Mostly everyone supported us, though Mikasa seemed visibly upset. I personally didn't care. I was with Levi, and that's what mattered to me. Mikasa could never comfort and reassure me like Levi.

I never realized how much I had relied on him until that moment. No, not the moment I had been given a fake smile by Mikasa, and careless, empty words of congratulations. Not even when Levi's lips had been on mine. It was another time, years in the past. It was…5th grade..

 _The classroom was ghost-quiet. Not anyone moving. Not even the teacher. My teeth were chattering uncontrollably, and my face was scrunched up, a silent, pleading scream. Chest rising up and down. Shaking. The classroom was shaking. Chest falling, down. The ground moving, the teacher telling us to remain calm. Mindlessly getting under the table, bracing for the fall. Hand grabbing table leg, becoming one. One. Shaking. Up and down. Up. Down. Hand wrapping around my throat, squeezing the life out of me. Nope, still breathing. Up, down. The table creaking, calling for a break that will not come._

 _The ground splits in half in front of me, a once beautiful mass broken by greater forces. I-I'm going to die! The ground is collapsing! I'm going to die, be suffocated, be trampled, be lost, be broken._

" _Eren, it's okay."Him. My eyes closing, darkness around. Hands resting on my shoulders. Warm hands._

 _The shaking continues. It_ _ **will**_ _kill me. It_ _ **will**_ _bury me. His voice, calling to me. Reaching to me, rescuing me. Eyes opening, to see grey ones. And the shaking stops….._

That was one of my first major earthquake experiences. It was also around the time that my parents had gotten a divorce. Levi was there for me, for both cases. Levi was there for everything.

Life continued, as plain as it was before, only now I had one more reason to go on. One more reason to stay. I had Levi, and things were starting to look new again. Oh, if only I hadn't been so naïve. I would have noticed that this was only the calm before the storm.

 **Ah, the symbolism. Please comment if you think you know which part I'm talking about.**

 **Please comment so I don't sound like a crazy person.**

 **Well, things are about to get interesting…but I'm happy about Levi and Eren getting together. If only I wasn't so mean to them. Mind you, I was listening to Reluctant Heroes while writing this, so naturally I'm going to be mean when my feels have just been crushed. Anyways, thank you to people who are reading this! Please tell me what you think! I would really appreciate it!**

 **Attack on Titan [Shingeki no Kyojin] belongs to Hajime Isayama**


	4. Chapter 4: the Storm

September 11, 2001

Fair weather. Crisp morning. Levi walked me to Saturday school that day.

We'd been in school for a month [yes, I was in 11th grade now] and things had been going normally.

Levi's hands had been so warm. The sky had been so blue.

Then….it wasn't.

The first sign that something was wrong was our History teacher's face as she answered the phone. Her face was ghostly pale, and her eyes grew wide. I had been taking notes, completely unaware of what was to happen, while Levi was drumming his fingers on his notebook. Things were normal. One note here, another observation there. The reliable sound of Levi's fingers. Nothing was out of place. Everything was the way it should be.

But then a strange feeling descended on me, one of unease. No, more than that. Fear. I didn't hear anything for once, no conversations of fellow classmates, or the ringing of the phone. Only Levi's reliable fingers, drumming on confidently. Other than him, everything seemed so far away, blurred out by this strange, strange feeling that something was very wrong. I felt sweat gather on my palms, and I hastily wiped it off, trying to calm myself down. Yeah, that's what I needed to do. Calm down.

It seemed like everything was going in slow motion as I turned to Levi, his face scrunched up in thought. Yes, everything was okay. If Levi wasn't concerned, then there was nothing to worry about. Levi knew best, after all.

My gaze drifted to his hand, as his fingers kept on drumming.

 _Yes, everything is alright,_ I thought. _Levi is calm, which means nothing is going on. It would take something big to catch his attention when he's thinking like this. As long as he keeps on drumming, everything will be fine._

But the feeling kept nagging at me.

 _It's fine!_ I told myself, again and again. _I trust Levi. Nothing is wrong. As long as he keeps on-_

I couldn't hear anything. I looked at Levi's fingers. They had stopped, and Levi's gaze had landed on our teacher, his usually cold, emotionless eyes filled with…concern? I looked to our teacher too, and my heart sunk.

 **Crack. Crack.** I looked up to the ceiling, where the announcement speaker lit up.

"Attention, students. Please excuse this interruption." It was our principal, Mr. Smith. "I would like to notify all of you, including the staff, that we are going into lockdown. Teachers, please do not leave your students alone. Lock the classroom doors, and shut off the lights. I will announce when the lockdown is over. Thank you."

 **Crack. Crack. Silence.**

No one moved.

Our teacher eventually worked up some courage to follow the demands, flicking off the lights and locking the heavy frame door. She instructed us to stay calm, but by the looks she was giving us, she understood if we couldn't. I couldn't. What was going on out there!?

I felt my hands clench, but before I could do anything else, Levi had turned to me and had smoothed out my fists. He did it slowly, almost robotically, and I had to look at him. His face was pale, but his eyes were normal and unfeeling. In fact, he looked at ease.

All of a sudden, I was angry. Not truly enraged, but more of the anger you get when you're terrified out of your mind.

I pulled away from him, and his eyes snapped up to me.

"Aren't you afraid?!" The words were out of my mouth before I knew it.

"No." I felt the blood drain from my face as Levi stared back at me, eyes narrowed and a frown on his features. How was he not afraid? Our school just went on lockdown, and he doesn't care? "There's nothing to be afraid of."

"….what do you mean?..I'm afraid! The threat seems very real, Levi!"

"What threat?" Levi answered, crossing his arms and looking at me like he was bored. "Eren, right now, we don't know why this is happening, or what's out there. Fine, yes, I'm afraid, but I don't know what to be afraid of. And you shouldn't either." I slowly absorbed his words, recognizing the truth in them. Yes, we didn't know what was going on, but there was still something to be afraid of.

"What about the unknown, Levi?" I said, feeling my face start to feel hot and sweaty.

Levi sighed and raised his hand to cover his eyes.

"I don't have time to worry about the unknown, Eren." I turned away, deeming the discussion over, and rested my head on my desk, trying to calm myself. I knew Levi was right, in his own way, but I just couldn't sit and twiddle my thumbs while who knows what was going on out there.

I just couldn't.

It was a long while before Mr. Smith called off the lockdown and had the teachers escort us outside, where our parents were waiting in a long line of cars to rush us home. From what and why, I didn't know. As soon as I was outside the school, I saw my mom in our Honda, waving at me furiously. I grabbed Levi's hand and pulled him into the car with me, and my mom nearly got a speeding ticket as she took us home. I didn't let go of Levi's hand throughout the whole drive, and I couldn't help but notice that they were cold. Shoving us into the house, Mom locked the door and told us to stay in there no matter what. We obeyed.

My mom also told us to turn off the lights, so Levi and I were in the dark for the rest of the afternoon. At around 7:00 she gave us both bowls of macaroni and cheese, and because she had arranged for Levi to stay over, gave him a dark red sleep shirt.

"Thank you, Ms. Carla" he had said, and she had looked at us both sadly before turning away to go wash the dishes. It was really awkward just sitting in silence, so before she could object, I snapped on the television. It was on the news channel.

We watched. And I saw _the_ video.

Bedtime came not long after that, but my mom understood that today was a exception. That didn't stop me from trying. Sleep seemed better than the real world right now.

I tossed and turned, throwing my blankets off and on me before giving up. It was around midnight by then. I had tiptoed through the empty hallway, and finally came to our living room, where the dark form of Levi was sitting upright on the couch. I saw his eyes flick up towards me.

"Can't sleep?" His voice was crisp.

"No, you?" I asked, even though I knew it was a dumb question. First off, he was already awake. And second off, Levi had never really slept well.

"Nope." He patted the cushion beside him, and I walked over to sit. Settling myself on the couch, I heard Levi sigh. I turned to him, seeing that his eyes were closed and his black locks were strewn all over his face. He seemed uncomfortable.

"Hey, you okay?" I said, scooting closer to him. He chuckled.

"You know, for someone who was literally losing it a while ago, you seem oddly at peace. Asking if I'm okay..Eren, are you okay?" I didn't want to think about that.

"I'm fine" I muttered, before once again turning my attention to him. "I'm asking if you're okay." Levi didn't speak right away, but I knew he was just choosing his words wisely. I wondered if he even knew how he was feeling.

"Eren…well, now that I know what we're up against…" he sighed, longer this time, and I was instantly hanging on to his words. "…look, I am afraid. We all are, right? I mean..I saw what happened." We both were silent after that. I understood how he felt, and deep down, yes, I was afraid. I was terrified to my very core. But showing my fear was only going to result in more people being afraid, so I had decided to shove it down, and pretend it didn't exist. Maybe I understood Levi better than I thought.

Of course, I didn't say anything about this to Levi, because he would chew me out on why that was bad for you. But for once, I wouldn't say anything, because Levi had been carrying around my worries and emotions for too long. It was time I tried returning the favor.

Levi had wrapped his arms around his knees, effectively burying his nose between his legs. I reciprocated the action, and merely stayed silent as I had before. The night went on, and I was finally falling asleep when a cold hand met mine. I don't know if Levi knew if I was awake or not, but that didn't stop him from saying, "Eren, I'm afraid of what is going to happen in the future. I know that today is not going to be a one time thing. So please, please stay with me. I don't want them to take you, too."

 **Author's Note :Well, here's the 4** **th** **chapter!**

 **For some reason, I feel really bad for Levi. He just seems like he's trying so hard to be strong and emotionless, but at the end (when he thought Eren was asleep) he broke.**

 **Please comment, as I really like to know what you guys think!**

 **Attack on Titan (Shingeki no Kyojin) belongs to Hajime Isayama**


	5. Chapter 5: Goodbye

After a few days, I finally convinced my mother that it was time to let me go back to school.

I remember walking through the gates again with Levi at my side, and automatically I knew that something in the air was different. I looked around and saw the usual, but one look from Levi and I knew that he could feel it too.

I later recognized it as a loss of spirit. No more bubbly students talking loudly to their friends. No more school jocks bragging about their athletic abilities. No happiness, and no laughter. It was as if everyone had died.

The atmosphere was tense, and everyone gave us fake smiles as we sat down at our first class. I didn't like it at all.

But the feeling never lessened throughout my day. I kept getting the urge to watch my back, like some pair of eyes were stalking me through the corridors. Trying to shake it off, I felt myself walking a little faster. But the person, the thing kept following me, an ever present threat.

I was very grateful whenever any officers stopped by our school. I never knew why they did, whether it was some sort of check up, or if they were just shaken by the recent events and wanted to make sure we were okay, but I was thankful all the same. They helped lift the sour atmosphere.

Levi liked their visits too, maybe for the same reasons as me, but in his eyes their was something more, something deep and unfamiliar. Whenever he looked at them, he looked like they had taken his breath away. Levi was simply amazed by them…no, he was breathless with respect. To think that even in these troubling times, they got up every morning and devoted themselves to protecting others…it was more than breathtaking, it was awe-inspiring.

But it was one lunchtime in particular that got me thinking that their was more than just respect behind Levi's stormy gaze. We had been eating together at our usual table, when an officer strolled out of the school office, talking to the assistant principal. Levi stopped eating his sandwich mid-chew, and without a glance towards me, stood and walked over to the pair. I saw him shake the officer's hand, and say, "Thank you, sir," before walking back. He sat down, crossed his leg over his other one, and continued eating like nothing had ever happened.

I decided to let it go, at least until Levi felt comfortable to tell me about what was going on. I waited for a month. Another month. It was now Christmas time, and Levi still hadn't decided to spill. Alright, I could wait.

It was January. Nope, now it was March. My patience began thinning. What, was I not trustworthy enough?

It was around May, almost the end of the school year, when Levi finally decided to fill me in on what was going on. We were at my house. I, being the nerd I am, was watching a TV show, while Levi had been reading. After a while, he had set his book down, and carefully slid his bookmark in. The neat freak.

"Hey, Eren. Can I talk to you for a second?" I snapped off the television, and scooted closer to him, face expectant. I had waited months for this.

"Sure, what's up?" Levi looked hesitant, like he was biting his tongue. But he looked me in the eye, still.

"Ummm, Eren..why do you draw?" _What._ I didn't know what to say. Was this all he had wanted to ask this whole time? Didn't he already know the answer? How did this relate to anything? I forced myself to remain calm and not overreact. For all I knew he was going to make a point about something.

"Well..I draw because it helps me get my emotions out." I said. "It helps me grow as a person, I guess."

"So, in other words, it's your passion." I didn't know how to respond to that comment. Was drawing my passion? Yes…I think so? Could I live without it, yes, but I wouldn't be happy.

"Yes." I had replied. Levi let out a sigh, and ran his hand through his hair, effectively messing it up.

"Eren…." I began to feel afraid. What was stressing Levi out so much? Nothing bothered him! My palms began to feel sweaty, and the house was filled with warm air all of a sudden. I hoped he wasn't saying what I thought he was going to. "…how would you feel if I said I wanted to be a Marine?" _A Marine. He wants to join the Marine Corps._

"Ummm..I…" I didn't know what to say. I mean, the Marine Corps? He'd leave me, and I would be alone. What could I say? Other than…

Levi sighed again, obviously disappointed in my reaction.

"You know what" he said, rising from the couch "never mind. It's nothing, Eren. I-" I had grabbed his wrist, preventing him from moving any farther.

"I'd be proud of you." Shock covered Levi's face, and I tried not to notice that my eyes were watering. I didn't want this moment to be about me. I looked Levi in the eye, and, more forcefully this time, said, " I'd be _so_ proud of you."

Levi sat down again, and I let go of my hold on his arm. I could tell he was trying not to be emotional. His voice shook as he said, " I'm sorry, Eren. I just can't sit back and watch as my country is at war! I can't-" his voice broke, and my hand moved to his cheek, wiping away a tear. I didn't know why he was being so emotional over this..unless he felt guilty for leaving me. But no, I wouldn't let myself drag him down.

"Levi" I said reassuringly. "Don't apologize. It's alright." Levi buried his face in my chest, and I spent the rest of that moment stroking his hair, humming softly.

~Summertime~

Even though he was two years away from graduation, Levi didn't want to waste time on getting into shape, which didn't take that much time, since he was already pretty fit. I accompanied him on morning runs, when fog covered the ground and the air was at a more forgiving temperature. Often it was him urging me onward, since I wasn't a regular at running long distances like Mr. Captain of the soccer team was over here.

Levi also enrolled in a gym, and I often sat in a nice, cushiony chair, slurping a chocolate milkshake while Levi literally bashed the life out of a punching bag. It really amazed me at how one so short could be so strong.

Those two years flew by fast, and all of a sudden, high school was over, and us young adults were shoved headfirst into the chaos of the real world. The ceremony was nice and long, congratulating us on our school accomplishments, and then at the end, the famous toss of hats into the air.

It was a long afternoon, saying farewell to friends, and the casual "let's stay in touch!". One particular goodbye was from Annie Leonhardt, in which she told me, "Don't be foolish, Eren" before embracing me in one of the most emotional moments she's had with anyone. I couldn't help but think afterwards that maybe Annie was alright all along.

I eventually started searching for Levi amongst the crowd, keeping in mind that he had to leave for the academy soon, and it was later in the afternoon when I finally spotted him, still in his gown, near the parking lot. I trotted up to him, and said something along the lines of "freedom at last", which made him smile gently at me. I then noticed that he was still clutching his cap, which I had decorated with little paper cut outs of soccer balls.

"You didn't toss your cap," I stated. Levi's smile faded into a frown.

"Yeah, I didn't. But the rest of those idiots are going to have a hard time finding theirs again." I frowned slightly, which made Levi squirm before saying, "Besides, I didn't want to lose something you made for me." I felt my cheeks get hot, but I still grinned at him.

"Thank you for being so thoughtful, Mr. Ackerman." I had said sarcastically, and Levi allowed himself a small smile. But then he was serious once again, and I didn't hesitate to wrap my arms around him. After all, this would be the last time I would see him for a while. Levi managed to cup my face with both of his hands, and I tried my best to genuinely smile, but I couldn't help my eyes from watering. He leaned in real close to me, and in a soft as silk voice, said those words.

"I love you."

I chuckled slightly, and brushed my lips against his forehead.

"I love you too."

It all went by so fast, too fast, and then I was alone. But I would be okay with this change. After all, didn't I say change with Levi was _always_ okay with me? But I couldn't help but feel my heart break a little as I watched him walk away. And for once, I hoped that _nothing_ would change.

 **Author's Note: I'm really sorry for the slower than usual update. I will try to be more inspired to write in the future.**

 **Anyway, I hope you guys like this chapter! Please comment, I really like to know what you guys think!**

 **This chapter is dedicated to anyone out there who is trying to make a difference in their community. This world can be dark, but that doesn't mean that we can't make something good out of it. For all who are trying to, I respect you from the bottom of my heart. Stay strong.**

 **Attack on Titan [Shingeki no Kyojin] belongs to Hajime Isayama**


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